Fucktarded Parenting 101

Friday, 23rd November 2018.

16.48

I love it when a simple gripe escalates into full on war. So, the sequence of events:

  • Louis brought a friend home from school. A nice lad. Louis wanted to play a bit of xbox with him. I said, “no worries”.
  • 30 minutes later, my mum comes into my room and asks who is in Louis’ room. I explain. She seemed ok about it and left the room.
  • 25 seconds later she re-enters my room and says,”why can’t they sit in the front room?” I explain that they want to play on the xbox. She leaves the room.
  • Another 25 seconds later she enters my room again. “What is it with this Xbox? He seems to be up until midnight every night(not true). Why cant he sit in the front room?”. “What is he going to do in the front room?” I ask. “Watch telly?”. “But, you only have basic, crap, TV in the front room. He wants to watch Netflix,etc….”. “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SIT IN FRONT OF SCREENS ALL DAY? WHY CAN’T HE GO FOR A WALK DOWN THE RIVER, OR…….”. At this point she leaves my room again still talking.
  • 3 minutes later. “Well, I’ll let him have that boy in his room but the girl that is coming around on Sunday will have to go in the front room. He is only 14. It’s not right”. “But Mum, I had girls in my room when I was 14”. He leaves the room again.
  • 2 minutes later I step out into the hall and can hear her regurgitating the whole thing to my dad.

For fucks sake.

17.52

We all just had dinner. After I said that Louis is taking “the girl” into town instead. This isn’t true. I have asked Carter if they can use her front room. All this seems unreal to me.

“What do you know about parenting?”, she says.

“Mum, I’m his dad. I decide what is right and wrong. I’m doing my best. I’ve been a parent for 14 years.”, I reply.

“Even after a 100 years as a parent you can still make mistakes” says my dad.

“You’re right dad. I’m just going my best”.

What I wanted to say was:

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PARENTING? YOU AND DAD WERE AT WORK MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD. ROSANNA(my sister) DID MORE PARENTING THAN THE PAIR OF YOU PUT TOGETHER! THE FACT THAT ALL THREE OF YOUR CHILDREN FUCKING HATE YOU SHOULD BE TESTAMENT ENOUGH!”

Ok. Deep breath.

The worst part is, Louis doesn’t understand what he has done wrong. The answer is………fuck all!

Pray! Everyone pray! Work and social housing offer. At this point, we would be better off living in my car.


As an aside, I did get called by the agency. I have a telephone interview at 5pm Tuesday. Even with that, this whole thing has put an extreme damper on my previous upbeat mood, and due to my mums dementia this whole scenario will be repeated many more times tonight.


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